dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you have to choose: penises or morals?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
