i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize