and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
