my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
