i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My balls are so social today.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
