I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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