Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
