Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
