And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
How does it feel to date your dad?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
