fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
