Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
