My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
