I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
