the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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