She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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