why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
