I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
