Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
