i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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