why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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