Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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