So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
