I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
