He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
