Dude my mom stole all your condoms
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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