Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
