How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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