You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
