On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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