Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
