i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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