you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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