did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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