Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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