When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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