I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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