Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
He kissed a someone with a penis
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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