you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
