k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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