I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
