I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize