apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
