I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
