Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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