i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
