someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We got so high we made milksteak
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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