He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A bitchslap is in order.
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