I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize