Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
