We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize