Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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