no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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