doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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