His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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