yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
worst night to have a conscience
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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