I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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