the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
