Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
