Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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