There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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