porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
